besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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