I feel like abortions should bother me more
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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