I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
