oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
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