So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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