We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
