There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
