do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
