You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
