FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
