i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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