What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
