Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
