I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize