If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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