you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
