We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Still dying that you shit outside
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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