Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
