I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
