well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
