What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
