It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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