I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
