Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
