Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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