Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
