I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
