right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
