Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
