bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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