I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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