Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
