We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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