toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
