I'm really into asian looking animals
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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