her vagine was all disorganized.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
