She said her name was "party"
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
