We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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