Don't you send me to vm
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
