Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize