Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
