Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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