They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
