i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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