I'm really into asian looking animals
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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