Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
