yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Randomize