Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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