I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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