I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize