Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
