He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
