Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
