ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
