Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
