Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
