From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
