He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
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