he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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