another moral hangover. fuck.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
