I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Just pee around me
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
