I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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