Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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