I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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